Monday, June 8, 2009

It's Official...

...this week has been the worst week of the year so far. We'll just skip Monday and Tuesday, although they really could add to the story, and start with Wednesday.

Wednesday, I had to have blood drawn for life insurance. The actual process wasn't as bad as it's been in the past, but I worked myself up about it all day. So much so that I was feeling too sick to attend school. This was the class I've been looking forward to... I was finally going to learn how to speak in the past tense in Spanish. Let me tell you how frustrating it is to only be able to speak in the present tense. This week is the last week of class... and I won't be able to go again :(

Thursday, Tony had to go out of town last minute. Not a huge deal, except remember the"morning" sickness? And guess what I had to do this morning? Go to my first OB appointment. By myself... with Anthony that is. Thankfully, I loaded my bag full of snacks and toys, and he made it through. Not sure how I feel about him having to watch the exam, but at least he is still young. My favorite part of this day was on my way out the door the handed me a slip for... you guessed it... blood work. Normally I prefer to cry while they do it, but this time I had my baby with me. I had to suck it up and be brave for him. I made it through. Maybe I should take him with me every time.

Friday I must have spent all day in bed sleeping (between trips to my new best friend... aka the toilet) because I really don't remember a thing. I know I got up for a couple hours in the evening, and was back in bed by 9pm. At 10pm I started puking. I'd been throwing up off and on since I found out I was pregnant, but I knew this was the beginning of the end for me. I puked all night. Literally. Every single sip of water I took came right back up. From 10 to 6am when I finally had my husband call the doctor to see if I needed to go in for an IV yet. Instead he called in a prescription for a lovely suppository for the same medication I had been taking orally. (Which obviously doesn't work if you're not keeping anything down.) The good thing about them is they knock you out. Within 30 mins, I was finally asleep.

So now it's Saturday morning. What I forgot to mention is that before I finally fell asleep, I was greeted by a mouse in the bathroom. A problem we thought we had taken care of 2 years ago. Or at least we hadn't seen one or any signs of one in two years. Great! Just what we needed! So while I sleep the day away, drugged up on medication, my poor husband, who also hasn't gotten any sleep, has to take our son to the hardware store and buy the needed supplies to deal with the mouse problem. Somehow he manged to re-mortar our foundation, and work on installing more insulation in the basement to keep them from getting into the house, all while caring for our son. He must have taken a really long nap! Saturday evening I finally got up to try and eat something and watched a movie with my husband. And that night, we both slept. (I spent the whole day praying for Jesus to come back... not even joking. He answered my prayer with sleep. Close enough for me!)

Sunday morning, I actually left the house and went to church. Mind you I still felt horrible. But I actually even ate breakfast before we went. I think this was the first time in a week I ate a real meal. I'm really glad I made it to church. We talked about the difference between living as an orphan and living as a child of God, and how our identity should stem from the later. It was such a good reminder for me right now. I would usually identify myself as wife, mommy, cook, housekeeper, etc. I must say I feel like a failure since I've become pregnant because I can't do any of these things well right now. Thankfully though, I am a beloved child of God... and that is who I am. Nothing I do or don't do can change that. Something I can't fail at... that's encouraging! I felt much better for most of yesterday. I made myself lunch, did a load of laundry, and vacuumed Anthony's room. I did something!!! By dinner I was nausea again and couldn't eat. So I took some meds and off to bed I went.

Monday, 12:30 am. Tony starts puking. My husband is the WORST puker ever. I seriously think the sound he makes when he is throwing up is the same sound he would make should he ever be stabbed. Since we only have one bathroom, he was kind enough to take care of it outside. However, it still sounded like he was laying next to me. Not a good thing when I'm trying not to be sick myself. So let's just say today hasn't been the best of days. Neither of us slept last night. We've been alternating sleeping this morning and laying on the couch trying our best to supervise Anthony. He's down for a nap, and I let Tony take the bed. I thought writing would be the best way to take out some of my frustration. Unfortunately the ones we love usually get the worst of it, and the last thing I want to do, or my husband needs right now, is for this to happen.

So let's just say it's been a bad week. Although reading back over this I can see some positive things. I'm really hoping that my Friday night was a result of stomach flu, and not the beginning of hyperemesis. Please Lord I don't want to do that again. (not sure what that is... check it out here.) These are definitely the times though I wish I was back in Olympia, close to friends and family. We've had lots of offers for help, but it's not very often that help arrives when you ask for it. Makes it hard to want to continue to ask. It's amazing how alone you can feel in times like these. This is the scariest thing for me in worrying about dealing with hyperemesis again. As soon as I got sick with Anthony, no one called, no one came to visit. Not that I would always feel up to either of these things, but I got nothing. When I was hospitalized for a week, the only person who came to see me was my aunt who was dying of cancer. That visit meant the world to me. But seriously, if she could do it... where was everyone else? These are the times when you find out who your real friends are, but sometimes, you just don't want to know. I actually I have friends I've been trying to call to even tell I'm pregnant. Friends I think who deserve a phone call before I post anything on Facebook and they read it there first. But it's been 3 weeks, and I haven't had the phone calls returned. Crappy.

I really think I've ranted enough for today. Although this hasn't been a very upbeat, happy post. I am thankful and hopeful. Circumstances could be much worse right now. I am thankful I am not in the hospital currently. I am thankful Anthony is content to play quietly by himself. I am thankful for my loving and supporting husband. I am thankful that God knows what he's doing and will never give me more than I can handle. And this gives me hope! We made it through this once... we can do it again. Please keep us in your prayers though... we could really use some encouragement right about now.

2 comments:

The Durhams said...

I love you for being so honest!!!!

Jamie

Christina said...

Oh Laura,

Do you know how amazing you are? You're strong, you're an awesome mama and wife. You're just--wow! It must be so hard to feel so awful during pregnancy, and to do it again? So you can love another little one? That's darned impressive, if you ask me.

Jamie is right--your honesty rocks, too.

I wish there were something I could do from here... some way to support you more. I wish I could come and visit, and bring dinner for your men. But please know I think of you often, and you wish the best possible pregnancy.

You're so strong--keep up the good work!

...oh, and if you wanna vent? chat? cry? send me an e-mail! ChristinaWeedon at yahoo dot com.