Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Dreams

My husband is always saying that the number one thing he admires about be is that I'm a dreamer... that I'm not afraid to to dream big, and that I won't let circumstances keep me from having these dreams. But lately I've been struggling with something. I want to be known for more than someone who has lots of great dreams. I want to be known as someone who achieves my dreams. Now I've got an endless amount of them, so by no means am I saying I want all of my dreams to come true, nor that I want them to come to pass at this very point in time. But God has put dreams and desires and passions in me for a reason. So what do I do about them? Being married and having a child are dreams of mine too, but why does it feel sometimes that I have not accomplished anything? I have an amazing husband, whom I take for granted way too often, and a darling little boy who thinks I'm the most amazing thing in the world. Both are more than I ever dreamed of. So I would definitely say that I have more than accomplished 2 of my dreams. But now what? I don't know what to do with all the passions in my heart. Achieving 2 of my biggest dreams leaves me feeling trapped, and that all of my other dreams are doomed to be purely that... just dreams. I really don't know where to go from here. How do I explain this to my husband without making him feel that I resent him. Because I don't! I don't know how to help him see and know my heart. I don't know how to help him see past all of the practical issues, to just trusting that God will provide. I love that he is so devoted to providing and caring for our family that he will do whatever it takes, but how do I let him know it's not a burden he has to carry on his own. How do you sow principles of faith and trust into someone? Being faithful and trustworthy don't seem to be enough.

Lord, I pray that you would grant me wisdom. Illuminate scripture that will guide me through my doubts and frustrations. I thank you for the dreams you have placed within me. Please help me to see them as a gift, not a hindrance.

2 comments:

Christina said...

Keep telling us about your dreams... and keep looking for inspiration!

You've got an award waiting on my blog... :o)

Laura said...

I'm starting school on Monday! I'm so excited to go after one of my dreams... YEA!!!