Monday, September 29, 2008

My little guy is sick!

Anthony has been sick for the past couple days with a high fever averaging right around 103. He's been pretty miserable, not wanting to do much more than lay on the bed or couch and be held. I wish there was something I could do for him, other than give him some Tylenol. We took him to the doctor this morning and basically all he said was it could be something viral, but if he still has a fever on Thursday, bring him back in and we'll talk about running some tests. I hate waiting. And then what if they do find something?

Please keep him in your prayers!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Dreams

My husband is always saying that the number one thing he admires about be is that I'm a dreamer... that I'm not afraid to to dream big, and that I won't let circumstances keep me from having these dreams. But lately I've been struggling with something. I want to be known for more than someone who has lots of great dreams. I want to be known as someone who achieves my dreams. Now I've got an endless amount of them, so by no means am I saying I want all of my dreams to come true, nor that I want them to come to pass at this very point in time. But God has put dreams and desires and passions in me for a reason. So what do I do about them? Being married and having a child are dreams of mine too, but why does it feel sometimes that I have not accomplished anything? I have an amazing husband, whom I take for granted way too often, and a darling little boy who thinks I'm the most amazing thing in the world. Both are more than I ever dreamed of. So I would definitely say that I have more than accomplished 2 of my dreams. But now what? I don't know what to do with all the passions in my heart. Achieving 2 of my biggest dreams leaves me feeling trapped, and that all of my other dreams are doomed to be purely that... just dreams. I really don't know where to go from here. How do I explain this to my husband without making him feel that I resent him. Because I don't! I don't know how to help him see and know my heart. I don't know how to help him see past all of the practical issues, to just trusting that God will provide. I love that he is so devoted to providing and caring for our family that he will do whatever it takes, but how do I let him know it's not a burden he has to carry on his own. How do you sow principles of faith and trust into someone? Being faithful and trustworthy don't seem to be enough.

Lord, I pray that you would grant me wisdom. Illuminate scripture that will guide me through my doubts and frustrations. I thank you for the dreams you have placed within me. Please help me to see them as a gift, not a hindrance.